WARD THEATRE – Apparently succumbing to a wild fit of delusion, Lola Hayes casually mentioned to her investigation team that she thinks she is a helpful presence as opposed to the trash-tier, un-fun dumpster fire she actually is.

“I sure love doing my best every time,” Lola said with a smile on her face, seemingly losing all awareness of how she is just a strictly bad, unplayable disaster who is probably a plant by the Cultists to summon Yog-Sothoth faster because holy hell, that’s how bad she is.

“I’ll use my wits to improvise a solution to any problem,” Lola assured her team, not realizing that the real problem was that her presence on the team was the equivalent of tying a three-ton rock to the neck of every other investigator and hurling them all into the ocean.

“Wow, I could spend all 9 of this XP I earned on the last scenario on almost anything!” said Lola at press time, while her teammates were conspiring to pool their XP to see if they could replace Lola with someone actually good like Rex.