ARKHAM – Amid mounting stress of how much doom she is bringing upon herself, Mystic Marie Lambeau decided to try some life-changing magic by sacrificing all allies who did not spark joy.

“I call it the LamMari method,” said Marie Lambeau. “Simply, I touch the ally, and if it sparks joy, I keep her. If she does not spark joy, usually because she instills in me a sense of impending doom, I throw her out.”

Using this method has done wonders to Marie’s mental health. “I feel so much better now. It was tough to make all these sacrifices, but now my life is full of both joy and card draw.”

At press time, Marie Lambeau was last seen saying “thank you” to Alyssa Graham while clutching a Spirit Athame.