MARKHAM, Ontario – Users of the ArkhamFindr app were elated when they logged on and discovered a brand new feature that allows players to find decks in their area. In particular, the app revealed that the nearest Versatile Calvin deck was only 200 meters away.

“That’s surprisingly close,” said user Michael Pennyworth, upon hearing the unmistakable notification sound from the ArkhamFindr app. “That dude must be using proxies or something. There’s no way a Versatile Calvin could be so nearby.”

Michael showed our reporters pictures of deck pics sent to him by the Versatile Calvin player, which included some tantalizing shots of Eucatastrophe, Alter Fate, and a very taboo photo of Machete. “Playing with this guy would be a treat,” said Michael. “I can tell he’s really experienced already.”

Michael proceeded to send the Calvin player pictures of his own deck, a Bandolier Joe Diamond, with an explanation that he likes to fill his hand slots with tools.

John Choi, another local player who had recently played through The Dunwich Legacy with the Versatile Calvin, had some further thoughts on him. “He does have a lot of cards in his deck, so sometimes, he’s on top of the world, and other times, his deck is bottom of the barrel. You never know what you’re going to get with him. I can tell you one thing for sure though: his deck is really big.”

The Versatile Calvin player, who has opted to remain discreet, emphasized to our reporters that in the end, it’s not about the size of the deck, but how you use it.