ARKHAM – Local drifter “Ashcan” Pete was ecstatic yesterday as he announced to his fellow investigators how his campaign was victorious after collecting no clues.


“What a night!” Pete exclaimed, after having stepped on to the Misktanoic Quad while the night was still young, to the complete confusion of the other 3 investigators who were still very much a part of this campaign.


“It’s time for an end to eldritch horrors as usual,” Pete began after a quick swing by the Orne Library failed to reveal even one piece of new information. “Arkham, you have shocked the nation! By all indications, we are going to the edge of the universe victorious!”


Norman Withers, who has been investigating eldritch horrors for longer than Pete has even been alive, said that he had internal figures which showed that he had collected more clues than Pete, Joe, or Ursula.


Meanwhile, waitress Agnes Baker encouraged all investigators to take a moment to breathe and appreciate all the allies who have worked so hard while they wait to collect the requisite number of clues to advance the act.