ARKHAM – Reviewers at Miskatonic University were stunned to learn that a recovered journal from the returned Antarctica expedition, which opened with the expected drawings of alien symbols and cries of despair, eventually just devolves into hardcore erotic fan fiction featuring two male expedition team members – Avery Claypool and Roald Ellsworth – for the entire last ten pages.
The shockingly smutty fan fiction, which included lines like “The investigators record that Ellsworth scouted out Claypool’s ass” and “Frost wasn’t the only thing covering Avery’s face”, was reportedly written by mild-mannered librarian Daisy Walker.
“Let me put it this way,” Daisy said, when asked to clarify why she spent half the expedition writing a pornographic fan fiction entitled “To The Edging of the Earth” instead of actually doing anything helpful, such as discovering clues or dealing damage. “I went on this excursion with Calvin and Daniela, and these two himbos were still the gayest part about that godforsaken continent. The way they just stare at each other only to suddenly grunt out a few words in one another’s direction? GAY.“
Daisy went on to imply that Claypool and Ellsworth would do well with a Synergy deck, because their every waking moment was already a huge rainbow flag.
“I brought Daisy with us because I thought she could help out with her Old Book of Lore,” explained Calvin Wright. “Instead, we were treated to nightly readings from her Cold Book of Porn. The horror amongst the expedition team members was indescribable. If we weren’t already losing our sanity from the elements, her awful double entendres would have done it.”
“I got hit by a lot of penguins trying to protect this blond bitch,” a bitter Daniela Reyes muttered, staring into an open flame. “That’s all I have to say about that.”
Daisy Walker would like to announce that signed copies of “To The Edging of the Earth” will be available for purchase at the Miskatonic University library next fall.