ARKHAM, Mass. – The small town of Arkham was shocked yesterday when a local byakhee was dealt 1 damage after a nearby waitress read Facebook comments on her phone at Velma’s Diner. “All I wanted to do was eat apple pie and flay the skin off of small children,” complained the byakhee, whose name is unpronounceable and has not been reprinted for your safety. “Then out of nowhere, my wings are being lightly zapped by some crazy amnesiac with a weird fascination with glassware.”
The waitress, one Agnes Baker, explained how reading the Facebook comments caused her mind to spasm with unfathomable horror. “I mean, I’ve been face to face with Elder Gods, but trying to reason with people who think the dress is black and blue? Now that really takes the cake.”
At press time, Baker was seen taking some medication for her lower back pain and zapping the byakhee again.